Four Steps to Raising Sturdy Children

1. Create a family culture (what do we say “yes” to, what do we say “no” to?).
2. Do less, and require more of the children.
3. Connect cause and effect (McCready’s “when/then”).
4. Limit technology.

I just listened to an interesting episode of The Commons, a CiRCE Institute podcast.  In it, Brian Phillips chatted with Dr. Keith McCurdy (M.A., Ed.S.) of Total Life Counseling in Roanoke, VA about raising sturdy kids.

Now Waterbears are hardy by temperament, but a little extra perpective on sturdiness is always welcome in my home.  I thought his four steps to raising hardy kids were interesting, and not necessarily intuitive.  What I mean is, common sense told me these were good things to do in the home, but I didn't intuitively connect the above to "sturdiness."

The first three steps are what I call "fuzzy" steps, because (for example) there is no clear direction on how to create a family culture (if you don't know how to do it already, which many families don't).  I am one of those people who want to create a family culture, and would love to see a month by month plan on how to do it.  I just like to see a project broken down into its smallest steps, Dave Ramsey-style.

Step #4 is more my speed.  Of the four it's the most concrete.  I trust that I know how to limit technology.  That why, even though it's the last step, it's the one on which I decided to take action.

If your interested in listening to the podcast yourself, I've included the link below:

The Commons #12: On Building Sturdy Children

Everything you want to retain, write down

If any of my readers are not yet acquainted with the writings of David Warren, I urge you to make him part of your regular web reading.  In fact, perhaps stop reading mommy blogs and the news and read only David instead.  I address that advice to myself most-of-all.  Read it all here, and then read everything else he's written.

The strait, and narrow

by David Warren

...Item. … Eliminate ring binders. You need a notebook so bound, that the contents cannot be re-arranged, and you can’t take pages out except by ripping. Retain all your stupidities. Date the pages. Flag keywords if you still can’t find anything, and create an index.

You want to make something substantial, that will be truly worth burning on the last day of school.

No scanners or copying machines, either. Everything you want to retain, write down, in an increasingly legible and elegant longhand. Anything you are tempted to underline in books: write down. If the quotation is three pages long, faithfully transcribe it. And learn to draw, so you can provide the illustrations.

This is how you become intimate with the written word, and gradually engage memory and attention. It is a method that will help you stay inside the box, and on the linear trail. Within weeks, you will find yourself beginning to remember things. Eventually, you might even become articulate.

Item. … If there is anything you fail to understand — such as a play by Shakespeare — read it six times. To discourage yourself from looking too much up (which is a distraction) use only heavy cumbersome dictionaries. Keep reading like a tank, with no reverse gear. Blast through the obstacles.

Soon the pennies will begin to drop. Pennies from Heaven.

Item. … Read with your lips. Sound everything in your head. Read passages aloud, to each other. Perform them, with gestures, and hands. Recite them in the shower. Use the exclamations to scare the cat. Chew lovingly on each delicious phrase, over dinner.

Soon you will be able to understand what is meant by rhythm, in prose and verse, and even the rules will become comprehensible. Soon you will discover that half the meaning is in the music. And the other half is between the lines...

Nature's Little Explorers - Week 3

This week, our theme was water: where it comes from, what are its properties, how it is used in nature. As always, we made plenty of digressions to follow the interests of the children.   

One way in which nature study has made the wisdom of Charlotte Mason clear to me is seeing how nothing is too humble for the boys' full attention.

As a jaded adult, I want to see something "amazing" when I go for a hike.  I feel let-down if I haven't spotted a fox or bobcat (we never spot a fox a bobcat).  Not so with my little Tardigrades.  I believe that it is because we have been spending time in nature since they were babies that they now approach the most humble discoveries with wonder.

Water striders, roly-poly bugs, house sparrows, chipmunks, minnows, and/or a wild blueberry bush: all these things hold the same fascination and appeal for them that does the lion at the zoo.

I know that educating one's children is like tending an orchard from which some future generation will harvest fruit - so it is with a grateful heart that I collect and treasure these small signs that what I am doing is working, that seeds are being planting that God will cause to full flower one day.

September 2017: What I Read

It is with great shame I report that the only book I read through to completion was Cindy Rollins wonderful A Handbook For Morning Time. Thank goodness I now have a blog to keep me accountable, or I might close out 2017 having only read one complete (adult) book in hard copy.

I do somewhat better with audio books, but my retention of information via audiobook is so low, that I really must return to reading the written word or I fear I will never learn anything new. Therefore, I am determined to read at least two hard copy books in October, doubling my output.  

To meet my goal, I will continue to rise at 4:30 am for some mom-time before the boys are up.  This has been a very effective and enjoyable new habit. If I can keep it up, I should be meet - and possibly exceed - my October target.

They are going to remember their childhood like a song

A powerful excerpt from The Mason Jar #27, featuring Lesli Richards of The Homegrown Preschooler

Cindy asked Lesli where she thought it was most important for homeschool moms to focus their attention.  Her answer, supported by hundreds of years of tradition and current scientific research, is powerful.  I transcribed it below:

I think the first thing you really need to think about is the ritual in your home. Because your children are going to remember far more about the overall aroma and ambience of your home, and the rhythm of your home. They are going to remember their childhood like a song, and there is a rhythm to it. 

And so, I think it's important to think, especially, how you can prepare to draw your children into the presence of God before you start your day. Usually that involves doing something for yourself before they wake up. And I think one of the huge things is to think about, how do you want your children to wake up in the morning, that's huge...I mean, how [are you] gonna wake [them up]? 

And I think we've become really utilitarian. The other thing about that [waking] ritual is I think cell phones are just a terrible, terrible thing...for me I use it as an alarm clock, right..but what I do is, I reach across, I look at, and I start my day as a consumer. As soon as...I am consuming whatever information is coming at me from that thing. And so, that just starts my day off poorly. 

And so I think it's important to think about how we start the day.  How we are going to build community with them during the day? What are the things that they can look forward to every day? What habits do I have to [have to] develop a culture of peace for them? 

The second thing I think is so important is because children are such sensory creatures - primarily (especially when we are talking about preschoolers) sensory creatures - what should they see in our home? what should they hear? what should they smell? I mean, we need to think about, are we laying a feast before them? Am I ok with letting them touch beautiful things? How can I teach them to be around beautiful things without harming them. We need to think about that. And I think, if we thought about that as much as we think about curriculum, we'd be completely out of the woods. We wouldn't have anything to worry about.  

The third thing that I think is so important, is, yourself as a teacher. Because I think you are worth cultivating. And we pour all of this into cultivating these little kids, a lot of times because we didn't have it for ourselves, right? But, you are worth cultivating. And so, I think it's important for you to think about some things that you've always wanted to do or always wanted to learn and how you can create space for those things for yourself, because that's going to model more to your children than anything else, a love for learning, a sense of wonder about the world...those things shouldn't come
last, we should cultivate ourselves. 

...Moms, the best thing you can do is ask yourself, "What can I do this year, to become the teacher I want for my children next year?" Rather than putting all the weight on them, what can you do? Because I think that modelling, it's almost like you're creating place for them to be free. Where you are giving them the structure. Your surrounding them with beauty and nice music and beautiful things to look at and good things to eat and smell and you're modelling learning. To me, that's like the perfect little environment for them.

Nature's Little Explorers - Week 2

This week, our theme was "Roots."  I mentioned before we often make digressions in order to follow the lead of the children.  In the first picture, our naturalist flipped over a log at the request of Tardigrade the Younger, who wanted to see earthworms. They were rewarded with an up close view of several big, fat squiggly ones, as well as a purple slug.

Tardigrade the Elder proceeded to draw slugs all over his nature journal the next day during Morning Time.

I love witnessing those connections!

Nature's Little Explorers - Week 1

This is the second year the boys and I have done Nature's Little Explorers at the Great Swamp Outdoor Education Center.  It's a very gentle preschool nature study program.  For a Charlotte Mason family without access to like-minded families with whom to study nature, it's a tremendous resource. We love it!

Every week there is a simple theme.  Our naturalist introduces the theme to the children in some kind of tactile way (this week, it was soil).  After that, we hit the trails and practice our observation skills - mostly independently - but sometimes assisted by prompts from the naturalist.  Although we try to focus on observations related to the theme, we often make digressions for things of interest to the children: a chipmunk hole, an antler, a turtle on a log, etc.

About half way through our walk, we stop for some read alouds.

After our read alouds, we trek back to the education center for some kind of craft work.  This week, we made patterns on paper out of glue and soil.  I very much appreciate that most of the art projects are process, not product, focused, so there's no pressure on the boys to reproduce something perfectly.

If you want to get outdoors with your kids and are discouraged from doing so because you can't get a group together, I encourage you to try researching the offerings within your county park system.  The Great Swamp is mere minutes from our house, but there are similar programs at several parks and preserves near us if we wanted to make some short drives.